January 31st

The pediatric neurologist's office opened at 8:30 (so said his answering service when I called on Sunday night at 11 pm), so I spent an hour stalking the clock. I swear, that was the slowest hour of my life. I called at 8:28 am, and wouldn't you know it...still the answering service. I waited another 4 minutes, then called back. I spoke with a phone answerer, to whom I gave a brief synopsis. She informed me that "Dr. R. won't order an EEG until after he has a consult with you and the first opening we have is.............................March."

Yeah. That went well. I let her know, kindly, that we weren't going to wait until March, and I would be in there today. We compromised on January 31st. While I want with all my heart to rush in and figure out what's happening, I spoke with two other doctors for second opinions, and they both opined that there was no reason to rush into the test, that two weeks won't hurt anything. As always, in the meantime, we are supposed to head immediately to the Baptist hospital if he has another seizure.

I went to the gym today, hoping to get in my normal yoga hour, and for numerous reasons, I didn't get there until 2 hours after the class was over. I got on the treadmill and was going to walk/jog a mile or so and then do some deep stretching. I ran 4.5 miles. I guess I needed to pound the ground and let some tension out, huh? I can hardly move. Please pray that The Bear doesn't have a seizure tonight, or I may have to stay at home, paralyzed from the neck down.

Okay, don't freak out. He's OKAY, I promise.

The Bear had two seizures yesterday. They were what are known as focal seizures, which means they affect a portion of the brain, rather than the whole brain as in a generalized seizure. This is how the day went down:

I heard him cry Thursday morning right around his usual time, but I immediately noticed that it was a really sad, quiet cry. He usually calls for me, babbling loudly, but this was a cry, like he was hurt or sad. I went in there, and he was sitting down at the end of his crib, all slumped over. I reached in, and he didn't move. I started gently patting his leg, thinking that maybe he had been woken up by a noise and was still drowsy and not quite with it yet...and he still didn't move. For five minutes - literally - I sat there and rubbed his back while he sat, slumped over, his head falling down toward the mattress and his eyes blinking slowly, like he was about to fall back asleep. Then, he would look up at me with a totally blank look on his face and his eyes wide open, just staring at me. No recognition. His eyes were glassy and unfocused, staring right through mine. It's like he was just turned off inside. It was scary. Then he would slowly lower his head again and do the slumping/slowly falling thing, then look at me with that look, then go back to slumping. Finally, he kind of raised his arms up and I lifted him out of the crib. He snuggled up on my shoulder, didn't put his thumb in his mouth (which is also really weird, as it's in there 24/7 unless he's eating), and just lay there, totally limp and heavy for another 5-10 minutes. He *always*, and I mean always, wakes up ready to go and play, and eat a billion pounds of food. He didn't want to eat, nothing, not a thing. I finally offered him some teething biscuits, and he uttered his first sound, like a "uh" with his mouth closed that he does sometimes, and he took them. After a minute on my lap, he started to "wake up" and finally, it's like he just clicked on, and took off to play with Sir H and acted totally normally from there.

Then, morning nap time rolled around, and when he gets tired, he won't slow down, I just have to keep my eye on the clock or watch him closely for an eye rub or a yawn, and it's time. Our routine is to take him to his room, swaddle him on Henry's bed, and put him in the crib with some water and put his blanket on him, turn on his aquarium, kiss his forehead and leave. He hasn't been able to go to cosleep since he was about 6 months old. This time, he just kind of wound down. I looked over and he was standing there, with his shoulders slumped, and his face had that blank stare again. His eyes were huge, and no expression on his face. His eyes watched me as I walked over, picked him up, and he slumped on my shoulder with that same limp, loose feeling he had in the morning. No thumb. I went to my bed and I lay down with him on my shoulder, and he stuck his thumb in his mouth and just lay there totally still and quiet, and in about 10 minutes, he was asleep. He slept for about an hour, and woke up alert and fine, and I put him in his crib and he went back to sleep for another hour. Awoke fine.

Since then, he's been rocking and rolling along like he always does. I talked to the developmental pediatrician today, and she diagnosed him as best she could, without having seen it, but said she was as certain as she could be that it was two separate seizures. We are supposed to call a pediatric neurologist on Monday, and she said he would most likely want to do an EEG. I have no earthly idea how they're going to get this kiddo still enough to stick sensors on his head and monitor his brainwaves!

I'm having a hard time not simply sitting there staring at him and watching him to make sure he's okay. She doesn't expect another seizure this weekend, since he had two so close together, but she instructed us to head to the hospital where he was born if he did have another one, or if he shows any change in his color, straight to the ER here or call 911. There's absolutely no way of knowing if this is an isolated occurence, or if it could happen again. Some kids have one seizure, then never have another. Some kids have them regularly until they grow out of them on their own at around five years old. Some kids continue to have them through adulthood and are then diagnosed with epilepsy.

I keep thinking of all of the autism-favorable traits he has, and now we have another one to put up on the board. I know I can't continue to think of that, I want to enjoy him and not worry, but that's what this blog is for, no? To spill my thoughts and share my joys and fears? So...there it is.

Oh, and ask not about

how goes the remodel. We're still married. Everyone's still alive. The end.

Going Out on a Limb

Well, I've decided - I'm going to start selling Henry & Co. products again. Eeek! Hold me! I'm a-skeered. The good thing is that I've found two sites that allow me to list the items I have on hand, instead of having my original http://www.purehenry.com/ site that listed all of my products and I never knew what orders would come in. This way, I can simply "stock" the site with what I already have made and ready to go out the door, and all I will have to do is package and ship. So much easier.

The two sites between which I'm trying to decide are http://www.etsy.com/ and http://www.hyenacart.com/ - both of them are quality, well-run sites, but they are slightly different in terms of pricing, customer base and looks. If you have any feedback or thoughts, lay it on me!

Guess What I Got For Christmas?

A remodeling project! We've been living in a 3 bedroom, 1 bath 1942 ranch-style home for a little over 2 years now, and we love the place. It was almost completely redone when we moved in. The bathroom and kitchen were still in their original shape, and over the last 2 years, we have remodeled the kitchen, added on another room and enclosed part of the garage to make another 1/2 bath. I've been complaining about sharing my bathtub with two little grimy, squirmy mud-covered small people enough that The Huz finally gifted me with a brand-new tub, enlarged bathroom with two pedestal sinks and a new toilet. Sounds awesome, right? And bless his heart, the man tries. He really does. "Honey, we will start construction on Friday, and be done by Sunday night." Even I knew that was a lie, and I braced myself for a few weeks of disarray despite his insistance.

It's now Tuesday, we hosted a 4th birthday party for Sir H yesterday, and the bathroom is half-way completed. We finally have water again, but little did I know that in drawing up the floorplan for my new bathroom, in all its glory, he used the space that was my former hall closet, where I kept every cleaning tool, all my towels and other assorted odds and ends like gifts, wrapping paper, board games, puzzles, etc., and he also decided that it would be an awesome idea to use the closet space from our bedroom to make the bathroom bigger. Both closets. As in, our clothes have nowhere to hang. When asked for his idea about where our clothes will now hand, his creative solution was to buy an armoire and use it as a wardrobe. Great! Where the frick are we going to put it? And also, where the frick is it?

So, currently, my clothes are hanging in the laundry room, we've been living out of a suitcase sleeping at my parents' home, and my head is spinning around like Linda Whatserface from The Exorcist. So, just a piece of friendly advice. If you want me to remain a calm, civil human being, please don't ask me how my bathroom is looking, and aren't I so lucky to have such a handy husband who loves to work. Mmkay? Because I haven't slept in 3 days, seeing as a 4 year old and a 1 year old don't so much like to sleep in unfamiliar places, I haven't seen my husband since Wednesday, and I have no running water in my house. You'll get this response:

I'll let you know when it's safe to ask.

And I will share the beautiful day that was Sir H's fourth birthday when I can talk without using profanity every other word. It was gorgeous, and my boy is wonderful.