So, I was driving home tonight, listening to The River radio station, and I'm singing along to "Your Love is Amazing" sung by Phillips, Craig & Dean, and we're on the words, "Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, Your love makes me sing," when all of a sudden, as radio stations are wont to do at night, it fritzed out with a small burst of static and another station came through, so what I heard was...
"Your love makes me sing,"
"Aww! Me so horny!"
"Hallelujah!"
Wouldn't have believed it had it not happened to me.
Saturday, February 23, 2008
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
But I don't waaaaaaaaaanna blog
It's been too long, though, so here ya go.
We had the MRI last week, and it was hell on wheels for me, The Bear did just fine. No anomolies, so we're clear on any organic issues. The EEG is set for tomorrow, and he has to only sleep from midnight to 4 am, so the Huz and I are pulling shifts.
Apart from that, Sir H is four and I love it. I love four, I LOVE FOUR! I want to shout it from the rooftops that I LOVE FOUR! He is so helpful, and sweet, and fun, and conversational, and opinionated (in a good way) and so...personable. He's amazing. My love bug. I've also started knitting. It's wonderful for anxiety. I really struggle with bouts of depression and anxiety, and sometimes, when the anxiety gets too big, I feel like I want to crawl out of my skin. In comes knitting...my hands are moving, my mind is working just hard enough to not dwell on stuff, but not so much that I can't do other things. It's a wonderfully soothing hobby for the evening while I watch a fluff television show, or lie in bed with Sir H. I make killer scarves. They're the easiest thing to make, in case you don't know. I'm currently trying my hand at a hat. I'll share pics when I get somewhere.
We had the MRI last week, and it was hell on wheels for me, The Bear did just fine. No anomolies, so we're clear on any organic issues. The EEG is set for tomorrow, and he has to only sleep from midnight to 4 am, so the Huz and I are pulling shifts.
Apart from that, Sir H is four and I love it. I love four, I LOVE FOUR! I want to shout it from the rooftops that I LOVE FOUR! He is so helpful, and sweet, and fun, and conversational, and opinionated (in a good way) and so...personable. He's amazing. My love bug. I've also started knitting. It's wonderful for anxiety. I really struggle with bouts of depression and anxiety, and sometimes, when the anxiety gets too big, I feel like I want to crawl out of my skin. In comes knitting...my hands are moving, my mind is working just hard enough to not dwell on stuff, but not so much that I can't do other things. It's a wonderfully soothing hobby for the evening while I watch a fluff television show, or lie in bed with Sir H. I make killer scarves. They're the easiest thing to make, in case you don't know. I'm currently trying my hand at a hat. I'll share pics when I get somewhere.
Monday, February 4, 2008
EEG and MRI scheduled!
It's a case of hurry up, see the doctor! Now wait! MRI is on 2/12 and EEG on 2/20. I feel confident in the testing, they will be sedating him for the MRI, which means we have to withhold food from him, the biggest eater and hungriest person in the entire world, seriously. I mean, the kid can polish off an entire enchilada kids' plate at El Ranchito and still want more from my plate. Then, the EEG requires him to be both awake and asleep in order to monitor both brain wave patterns, so he gets to sleep from midnight to 4 am the night before. Eek! Hopefully, The Huz will take the day off so we can take turns napping. After the EEG, we wait for three weeks and then go back to see the neurologist. I'm very confident in him, we had a quick but very informative visit, and The Bear is just growing by amazing leaps and bounds.
He follows Sir H everywhere and thinks he's just big. He loves to play, especially loves to throw balls and has terrific aim. He's picked up a bunch of new words and communication skills in the last few weeks, and it's amazing to watch him explode like this.
I'm also so excited that the neurologist may be able to help me with my migraines. He has some options for me when The Bear weans, so I feel better knowing there may be something we can do, even if it's in the future. Thank you all so much for your prayers, your thoughts, emails and phone calls. We truly wouldn't be able to make it through this without y'all.
He follows Sir H everywhere and thinks he's just big. He loves to play, especially loves to throw balls and has terrific aim. He's picked up a bunch of new words and communication skills in the last few weeks, and it's amazing to watch him explode like this.
I'm also so excited that the neurologist may be able to help me with my migraines. He has some options for me when The Bear weans, so I feel better knowing there may be something we can do, even if it's in the future. Thank you all so much for your prayers, your thoughts, emails and phone calls. We truly wouldn't be able to make it through this without y'all.
Monday, January 14, 2008
January 31st
The pediatric neurologist's office opened at 8:30 (so said his answering service when I called on Sunday night at 11 pm), so I spent an hour stalking the clock. I swear, that was the slowest hour of my life. I called at 8:28 am, and wouldn't you know it...still the answering service. I waited another 4 minutes, then called back. I spoke with a phone answerer, to whom I gave a brief synopsis. She informed me that "Dr. R. won't order an EEG until after he has a consult with you and the first opening we have is.............................March."
Yeah. That went well. I let her know, kindly, that we weren't going to wait until March, and I would be in there today. We compromised on January 31st. While I want with all my heart to rush in and figure out what's happening, I spoke with two other doctors for second opinions, and they both opined that there was no reason to rush into the test, that two weeks won't hurt anything. As always, in the meantime, we are supposed to head immediately to the Baptist hospital if he has another seizure.
I went to the gym today, hoping to get in my normal yoga hour, and for numerous reasons, I didn't get there until 2 hours after the class was over. I got on the treadmill and was going to walk/jog a mile or so and then do some deep stretching. I ran 4.5 miles. I guess I needed to pound the ground and let some tension out, huh? I can hardly move. Please pray that The Bear doesn't have a seizure tonight, or I may have to stay at home, paralyzed from the neck down.
Yeah. That went well. I let her know, kindly, that we weren't going to wait until March, and I would be in there today. We compromised on January 31st. While I want with all my heart to rush in and figure out what's happening, I spoke with two other doctors for second opinions, and they both opined that there was no reason to rush into the test, that two weeks won't hurt anything. As always, in the meantime, we are supposed to head immediately to the Baptist hospital if he has another seizure.
I went to the gym today, hoping to get in my normal yoga hour, and for numerous reasons, I didn't get there until 2 hours after the class was over. I got on the treadmill and was going to walk/jog a mile or so and then do some deep stretching. I ran 4.5 miles. I guess I needed to pound the ground and let some tension out, huh? I can hardly move. Please pray that The Bear doesn't have a seizure tonight, or I may have to stay at home, paralyzed from the neck down.
Friday, January 11, 2008
Okay, don't freak out. He's OKAY, I promise.
The Bear had two seizures yesterday. They were what are known as focal seizures, which means they affect a portion of the brain, rather than the whole brain as in a generalized seizure. This is how the day went down:
I heard him cry Thursday morning right around his usual time, but I immediately noticed that it was a really sad, quiet cry. He usually calls for me, babbling loudly, but this was a cry, like he was hurt or sad. I went in there, and he was sitting down at the end of his crib, all slumped over. I reached in, and he didn't move. I started gently patting his leg, thinking that maybe he had been woken up by a noise and was still drowsy and not quite with it yet...and he still didn't move. For five minutes - literally - I sat there and rubbed his back while he sat, slumped over, his head falling down toward the mattress and his eyes blinking slowly, like he was about to fall back asleep. Then, he would look up at me with a totally blank look on his face and his eyes wide open, just staring at me. No recognition. His eyes were glassy and unfocused, staring right through mine. It's like he was just turned off inside. It was scary. Then he would slowly lower his head again and do the slumping/slowly falling thing, then look at me with that look, then go back to slumping. Finally, he kind of raised his arms up and I lifted him out of the crib. He snuggled up on my shoulder, didn't put his thumb in his mouth (which is also really weird, as it's in there 24/7 unless he's eating), and just lay there, totally limp and heavy for another 5-10 minutes. He *always*, and I mean always, wakes up ready to go and play, and eat a billion pounds of food. He didn't want to eat, nothing, not a thing. I finally offered him some teething biscuits, and he uttered his first sound, like a "uh" with his mouth closed that he does sometimes, and he took them. After a minute on my lap, he started to "wake up" and finally, it's like he just clicked on, and took off to play with Sir H and acted totally normally from there.
Then, morning nap time rolled around, and when he gets tired, he won't slow down, I just have to keep my eye on the clock or watch him closely for an eye rub or a yawn, and it's time. Our routine is to take him to his room, swaddle him on Henry's bed, and put him in the crib with some water and put his blanket on him, turn on his aquarium, kiss his forehead and leave. He hasn't been able to go to cosleep since he was about 6 months old. This time, he just kind of wound down. I looked over and he was standing there, with his shoulders slumped, and his face had that blank stare again. His eyes were huge, and no expression on his face. His eyes watched me as I walked over, picked him up, and he slumped on my shoulder with that same limp, loose feeling he had in the morning. No thumb. I went to my bed and I lay down with him on my shoulder, and he stuck his thumb in his mouth and just lay there totally still and quiet, and in about 10 minutes, he was asleep. He slept for about an hour, and woke up alert and fine, and I put him in his crib and he went back to sleep for another hour. Awoke fine.
Since then, he's been rocking and rolling along like he always does. I talked to the developmental pediatrician today, and she diagnosed him as best she could, without having seen it, but said she was as certain as she could be that it was two separate seizures. We are supposed to call a pediatric neurologist on Monday, and she said he would most likely want to do an EEG. I have no earthly idea how they're going to get this kiddo still enough to stick sensors on his head and monitor his brainwaves!
I'm having a hard time not simply sitting there staring at him and watching him to make sure he's okay. She doesn't expect another seizure this weekend, since he had two so close together, but she instructed us to head to the hospital where he was born if he did have another one, or if he shows any change in his color, straight to the ER here or call 911. There's absolutely no way of knowing if this is an isolated occurence, or if it could happen again. Some kids have one seizure, then never have another. Some kids have them regularly until they grow out of them on their own at around five years old. Some kids continue to have them through adulthood and are then diagnosed with epilepsy.
I keep thinking of all of the autism-favorable traits he has, and now we have another one to put up on the board. I know I can't continue to think of that, I want to enjoy him and not worry, but that's what this blog is for, no? To spill my thoughts and share my joys and fears? So...there it is.
I heard him cry Thursday morning right around his usual time, but I immediately noticed that it was a really sad, quiet cry. He usually calls for me, babbling loudly, but this was a cry, like he was hurt or sad. I went in there, and he was sitting down at the end of his crib, all slumped over. I reached in, and he didn't move. I started gently patting his leg, thinking that maybe he had been woken up by a noise and was still drowsy and not quite with it yet...and he still didn't move. For five minutes - literally - I sat there and rubbed his back while he sat, slumped over, his head falling down toward the mattress and his eyes blinking slowly, like he was about to fall back asleep. Then, he would look up at me with a totally blank look on his face and his eyes wide open, just staring at me. No recognition. His eyes were glassy and unfocused, staring right through mine. It's like he was just turned off inside. It was scary. Then he would slowly lower his head again and do the slumping/slowly falling thing, then look at me with that look, then go back to slumping. Finally, he kind of raised his arms up and I lifted him out of the crib. He snuggled up on my shoulder, didn't put his thumb in his mouth (which is also really weird, as it's in there 24/7 unless he's eating), and just lay there, totally limp and heavy for another 5-10 minutes. He *always*, and I mean always, wakes up ready to go and play, and eat a billion pounds of food. He didn't want to eat, nothing, not a thing. I finally offered him some teething biscuits, and he uttered his first sound, like a "uh" with his mouth closed that he does sometimes, and he took them. After a minute on my lap, he started to "wake up" and finally, it's like he just clicked on, and took off to play with Sir H and acted totally normally from there.
Then, morning nap time rolled around, and when he gets tired, he won't slow down, I just have to keep my eye on the clock or watch him closely for an eye rub or a yawn, and it's time. Our routine is to take him to his room, swaddle him on Henry's bed, and put him in the crib with some water and put his blanket on him, turn on his aquarium, kiss his forehead and leave. He hasn't been able to go to cosleep since he was about 6 months old. This time, he just kind of wound down. I looked over and he was standing there, with his shoulders slumped, and his face had that blank stare again. His eyes were huge, and no expression on his face. His eyes watched me as I walked over, picked him up, and he slumped on my shoulder with that same limp, loose feeling he had in the morning. No thumb. I went to my bed and I lay down with him on my shoulder, and he stuck his thumb in his mouth and just lay there totally still and quiet, and in about 10 minutes, he was asleep. He slept for about an hour, and woke up alert and fine, and I put him in his crib and he went back to sleep for another hour. Awoke fine.
Since then, he's been rocking and rolling along like he always does. I talked to the developmental pediatrician today, and she diagnosed him as best she could, without having seen it, but said she was as certain as she could be that it was two separate seizures. We are supposed to call a pediatric neurologist on Monday, and she said he would most likely want to do an EEG. I have no earthly idea how they're going to get this kiddo still enough to stick sensors on his head and monitor his brainwaves!
I'm having a hard time not simply sitting there staring at him and watching him to make sure he's okay. She doesn't expect another seizure this weekend, since he had two so close together, but she instructed us to head to the hospital where he was born if he did have another one, or if he shows any change in his color, straight to the ER here or call 911. There's absolutely no way of knowing if this is an isolated occurence, or if it could happen again. Some kids have one seizure, then never have another. Some kids have them regularly until they grow out of them on their own at around five years old. Some kids continue to have them through adulthood and are then diagnosed with epilepsy.
I keep thinking of all of the autism-favorable traits he has, and now we have another one to put up on the board. I know I can't continue to think of that, I want to enjoy him and not worry, but that's what this blog is for, no? To spill my thoughts and share my joys and fears? So...there it is.
Saturday, January 5, 2008
Going Out on a Limb
Well, I've decided - I'm going to start selling Henry & Co. products again. Eeek! Hold me! I'm a-skeered. The good thing is that I've found two sites that allow me to list the items I have on hand, instead of having my original http://www.purehenry.com/ site that listed all of my products and I never knew what orders would come in. This way, I can simply "stock" the site with what I already have made and ready to go out the door, and all I will have to do is package and ship. So much easier.
The two sites between which I'm trying to decide are http://www.etsy.com/ and http://www.hyenacart.com/ - both of them are quality, well-run sites, but they are slightly different in terms of pricing, customer base and looks. If you have any feedback or thoughts, lay it on me!
The two sites between which I'm trying to decide are http://www.etsy.com/ and http://www.hyenacart.com/ - both of them are quality, well-run sites, but they are slightly different in terms of pricing, customer base and looks. If you have any feedback or thoughts, lay it on me!
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